A happy holiday to you and yours! I love you guys!




 

My laptop is back and just like before!!!! They didn't even have to wipe my hard drive!!! YAY!!!

Although the subject of this post is very pirate-esque,
this post is less than awesome.

A lot of things haven't been going very well for me lately,
and i've been very stressed out.

Work has been less than fun, and i don't think I am cut out to be a store manager.
This is ok, since apparently my district manager thinks the same thing, since I was demoted
on Tuesday. I will be a co-manager, and transferred back the the other store for more training.
Apparently they are opening another store in the area soon, and want to train me
to be a better store manager and then give me that store.

Well, I am done with this place. If I'm gonna take a paycut, it might as well be someplace
I don't hate going to everyday, or at least has direct deposit.

I don't even know what to look for.
I don't feel good enough at anything to look for something specialized.

I know i get a lot of praise from you guys, and i'm not saying I don't appreciate it,
but I am totally unprepared to do any work in my 'field' (fashion)

I cannot draw or sketch well, which is no good for designing.

Even if I found somewhere that wanted me to do sewing work, I don't have
much formal training in sewing, or couture finishings.
I can sew, yes, but not much better than the average hobbyist.

My pattern making is beginner at best, and involves a lot of math.

In short, my degree, (that I can't even afford to pay off) is a joke.

So I sit here and wonder why the hell I spent so much money on school.
I was convinced as soon as I graduated i'd have a great job and paying everything off would be no problem.

Well, here I am.
Stuck in a job I hate, and taking a paycut because i'm not good at THAT either.

At least it was paying my bills. I feel like an idiot for having invested so much money in college.

I can never regret going to college because I met a lot of great people, and had a lot of great times.

However I can't just help but feel like a moron for paying so much money for something I don't even have, that I can't even use.

What am I meant to DO with this life?

Sometimes I wish I could just make enough money to move out, get married, and be a wife.

Sometimes I feel like I was meant to do something great , that would leave an impression on the world.

Sometimes I wish I had never gone to school and could have just invested that money into traveling around the world,
working odd jobs and making just enough to get by.

I am so confused and upset with myself.

I don't know what my passion is anymore.
I don't feel good enough at anything.

As cliche as it all sounds, I feel like capitalism's personal bitch.

Is this really what our lives are for?

I miss my family and my friends.
I never get to see a majority of people i care about anymore.

Right now I feel like I don't care what job I get, as long as I can still get time off to see my family,
my friends, and do all the fun things everyone else still seems to be able to do.
Fuck.
I have missed so many things because of this stupid job.


I feel like my thoughts have no resolution, so i'm going to stop.


 

So I just watched the darkest Sanrio film ever, Chirin no Suzu. (Bell of Chirin)

It's summary where I watched it:

"A little lamb's life is turned upside down by the wolf that killed his mother. He seeks to avenge his mother, but in order to defeat the wolf, he must become one."

Ok. So little Unico-esque sheep goes on an adventure of growing up. Thats what this tell me.

Well, let me just show you.

We go from this:



To this:



Thats a pretty drastic difference.

It's a 46 min long movie that can be found here:

http://www.crunchyroll.com/library/Chirin_No_Suzu

For those of you who want to watch it, go there.
(You don't need an account to watch one thing, only if you watch a few things in a row.)

For those who don't,

( I will tell you. )

So yea. I dunno. I was just surprised.

This week has sucked hardcore. I need a new job, for serious.
Half my staff is gone because some asshole from 5,7,9 came in
on a day I wasn't working and made a pitch to my employees.
My one assistant manager left, and recruited the rest of my management staff
and some of my sales girls behind my back.

So now I am going to have a brand new management staff for the holiday season,
whom I need to train properly by Black Friday.

Yea Right.

FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Barf.

Someone save me.

 

Just so everybody is aware, I lost my phone like a putz and have suspended my service until I find it or decide what to do.
So don't get worried if you call and it says my number isn't in service :p

D'OH!

Halloween pics to come later when I am not tired and frustrated!

*sigh*
The pay is nice, but I don't really like it.
I have no idea where to start looking again or what I really want to do.
It's so depressing to realize that I don't have a 'dream'.
I feel stuck in this job, and I don't like it.
I don't know how to change this.
I don't know what to do.
I just know that I want this to change,
I need it to change.

 

That sales post wasn't really meant for you guy on my friends list, but I need to keep this post here because it took me like forever, so I want to have the HTML ready in case I want to post it again.

:p

A lot of things for sale.

If you are interested in anything, or have any questions, please e-mail me at:

BooHooKitten@Gmail.Com

Some prices are negotiable.

Series:

Sunday I took the train up and met with Matt in NYC, to attend japan Day 2008 and see the Takeshi Murakami exhibit.